We get asked all the time why we chose domestic versus international adoption. I have to be honest, I feel a little like we have to defend our decision at times.
So I thought I would try to put my thoughts into words here for anyone who is interested. First, let me say that we believe in international adoption and at some point we may take that route, but for now this is where the Lord has led us.
But let me also say that we believe there is a huge need for domestic adoption. I read an article recently talking about the need for domestic adoption if we are to be proponents of a pro-life movement. This article put into words what I had been thinking but hadn't been able to put into words myself.
For us domestic adoption is as much about the ministry to the birth mom as it is about impacting the life of a child. Domestic adoption is about providing an alternative to abortion. Domestic adoption is about telling pregnant women that there are great families out there who would provide a great home to their baby. Birth moms who choose adoption are not selfish. In fact, choosing adoption is one of the most selfless decisions she could ever make.
For us, we choose domestic adoption because we feel that God has called us to this decision. We know that there are many great reasons to choose other forms of adoption and even less expensive forms, but we also know that God has called us to this path for a purpose and we are excited about the plans He has for our forever family. For all these reasons and more we choose domestic adoption.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Looking Forward to a new Chapter
Many of you know that DJ is about to finish his doctorate and with this new degree our goal was for him to move back to the classroom so that he wouldn't have to travel so much when our new little one arrives.
The spring was filled with job applications, interviews, and major decisions. We really thought that we would be leaving Abilene for another job, but instead we are happy to announce that we get to stay!
DJ has accepted another position at Hardin-Simmons that will begin in August of 2014. This worked out perfectly for him because it gives him a full year of closure and time to get everything even more organized to hand over to the new Head Athletic Trainer that will take his place.
DJ's new job will be in the school of Education as an Associate Professor of Fitness and Sports Science, in addition he will also be the Clinical Coordinator for the Athletic Training Education Program. Essentially what this means is that he will mostly teach classes in the Athletic Training Education Program and he will also organize/supervise his college students in their clinical sites.
Through the ATEP at HSU students learn to be athletic trainers, while receiving hands-on training in clinical sites. He currently supervises the students that work in his Sports Medicine Clinic at Football and Men's Basketball. Other clinical sites include the other sports medicine clinics at HSU for each of the athletic teams. In addition, his students also receive hands-on training in doctor's offices/surgery rotations, as well as the sports medicine clinics at the local high schools.
I am so thankful that this will be our last year of 7-days-a-week during football season. In just the past few days, he has spent 3 days with his student-athletes at the hospital for many hours late into the evening. I am so excited to have my husband back, but know that he is a little sad that he won't have these opportunities to invest in his athletes like he does now.
We are very excited for this opportunity to stay in Abilene and for DJ to continue doing what he loves... working with college students.
The spring was filled with job applications, interviews, and major decisions. We really thought that we would be leaving Abilene for another job, but instead we are happy to announce that we get to stay!
DJ has accepted another position at Hardin-Simmons that will begin in August of 2014. This worked out perfectly for him because it gives him a full year of closure and time to get everything even more organized to hand over to the new Head Athletic Trainer that will take his place.
DJ's new job will be in the school of Education as an Associate Professor of Fitness and Sports Science, in addition he will also be the Clinical Coordinator for the Athletic Training Education Program. Essentially what this means is that he will mostly teach classes in the Athletic Training Education Program and he will also organize/supervise his college students in their clinical sites.
Through the ATEP at HSU students learn to be athletic trainers, while receiving hands-on training in clinical sites. He currently supervises the students that work in his Sports Medicine Clinic at Football and Men's Basketball. Other clinical sites include the other sports medicine clinics at HSU for each of the athletic teams. In addition, his students also receive hands-on training in doctor's offices/surgery rotations, as well as the sports medicine clinics at the local high schools.
I am so thankful that this will be our last year of 7-days-a-week during football season. In just the past few days, he has spent 3 days with his student-athletes at the hospital for many hours late into the evening. I am so excited to have my husband back, but know that he is a little sad that he won't have these opportunities to invest in his athletes like he does now.
We are very excited for this opportunity to stay in Abilene and for DJ to continue doing what he loves... working with college students.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
2014 is the year!
We are hopeful as we pray that 2014 will be the year that our little one comes home!
It has been 2 years since we sat in our adoption orientation. It took us that long to turn in our adoption paperwork.It has been a hard two years because we started the process by being very open about God's call on our lives to adopt. With that openness comes lots of questions of those wanting updates on our adoption process. But then the process came to an abrupt hault. We knew it was just a pause as we grieved the loss of our second miscarried child. We are so thankful to have so many people that care enough to ask, but it was definitely hard to answer people wanting to know how the process was going.
It was February almost a year ago that God made it very clear to us that we needed to step out in faith and trust Him.
It is with great joy that I can say we have officially submitted our adoption paperwork!!!!
We have also officially raised $20,000 of the about $35,000 - $40,000 needed!
We are also preparing our home for the home study. Previous owners of our home took out the bath tub to make it handicap accessible, so we need to redo the bathroom to make it "baby accessible" by creating a working bathtub. In addition, we had a water leak under our foundation earlier this year. Thankfully the plumbers did not have to drill into the foundation, but instead redirected the water lines through the wall. However, this left 3 holes in the sheet rock that also need to be fixed before the home study. We will be working on these projects soon and hope to have our home study complete in the next month or so.
Once we have our interviews and home study complete we will be approved (hopefully!) and ready for a birth mom to pick us!
We are so grateful to so many for all your love and support! Thank you as well for your prayers as we continue on this journey.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Exciting Fundraising Update!
We are overwhelmed with humility and gratitude for our friends and church family. The spaghetti dinner benefit was a HUGE SUCCESS! We made more than $5000, which means we are getting so much closer to bringing our little one home! Words cannot express how thankful we are to our God! He is amazing. Thank you Oh-so-much to all the volunteers who put this together!
We have recently had quite a few people reach out to say they wanted to lead forward with another fundraiser of their own to benefit out adoption. So in no particular order, here are some other ways for you to support our adoption process and help impact the life of a child:
Click on the name of each fundraiser and it will take you directly to our friends' secure websites.
Mary Kay
Order your Mary Kay products from my sweet sister-in-law, Cassi and 100% of the proceeds in November will go to our adoption! Free shipping and 25% off all orders over $100!
Custom Christmas Cards
Order your custom Christmas cards from one of my best friends, Blaire and a portion of her proceeds will benefit our adoption!
Worship CD
Finally, our very talented friend, Katie Cruddas has come out with an amazing worship CD. She is shipping 200 to us to sell for $10 each. 100% of the profit goes straight to bringing Baby G home! These will be available beginning November 24 on a first-come-first-serve basis. Reserve yours now by commenting here or sending us an email/facebook message. Hurry because I think they will be gone in a flash!
We have a big goal of being 100% funded by the end of November! We know that is a lofty goal, but with your help we can do it! Feel free to share our fundraisers with your friends.
We can't thank you enough for your support! We are planning to turn in our paperwork next week and we couldn't have done it without the prayers and support of our wonderful friends and family. God is so good! We love y'all!
Blessings,
DJ and Andrea
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Parents' Night Out Success!
A few months ago, my friend, Traci, came to me with a fundraiser idea. She works at a local gymnastics center and she wanted to offer a parents' night out as a fundraiser for our adoption. Parents were able to come drop off their kiddos for 2 hours of fun at the gym. On Friday night, 42 kids showed up at the gym. She divided the kids into groups and rotated them through stations, as well as pizza, and a craft.
I helped by manning the craft. I found this idea on Pinterest and we ran with it. All of the kids were able to create a watercolor picture and the older kids also added clear glue and salt to the pics. It didn't turn out quite as neat as the way the blogger describes the original idea, but overall it was fun (especially since it worked for a huge range of ages - from 2 - 12!)
The fundraiser, on the other hand, was a huge success! We were able to raise $533 for our adoption! Wow! We were amazed! More than that I was just amazed at everyone's willingness to come out to help us. Traci organized volunteers that helped with each age group. Many of these volunteers didn't even know us, but they were still willing to come out and help. Amazing! Traci's sister and husband also both came out to help. Another one of the volunteers was a sweet college student (now graduated) that I had in class and I even received an email yesterday from another one of my college students saying that if we ever do another fundraiser requiring child care again, she would love to help. Wow! That's all I can say... wow... walking through the adoption process has been nothing but a blessing and I know the biggest blessing is yet to come!
Thank you so much to Traci and Ryan Kana, Ashley Mensik, Emily Sudtelgte, and all the other volunteers! Also a big thank you to Beamers Gymnastics and Cheerleading!
I helped by manning the craft. I found this idea on Pinterest and we ran with it. All of the kids were able to create a watercolor picture and the older kids also added clear glue and salt to the pics. It didn't turn out quite as neat as the way the blogger describes the original idea, but overall it was fun (especially since it worked for a huge range of ages - from 2 - 12!)
The fundraiser, on the other hand, was a huge success! We were able to raise $533 for our adoption! Wow! We were amazed! More than that I was just amazed at everyone's willingness to come out to help us. Traci organized volunteers that helped with each age group. Many of these volunteers didn't even know us, but they were still willing to come out and help. Amazing! Traci's sister and husband also both came out to help. Another one of the volunteers was a sweet college student (now graduated) that I had in class and I even received an email yesterday from another one of my college students saying that if we ever do another fundraiser requiring child care again, she would love to help. Wow! That's all I can say... wow... walking through the adoption process has been nothing but a blessing and I know the biggest blessing is yet to come!
Thank you so much to Traci and Ryan Kana, Ashley Mensik, Emily Sudtelgte, and all the other volunteers! Also a big thank you to Beamers Gymnastics and Cheerleading!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Parents' Night Out Adoption Fundraiser
We are so excited to announce our next adoption fundraiser! We are having a parents' night out this Friday and Beamer's Gymnastics and Cheerleading Gym. My good friend, Traci, has generously offered the gym and her time (as well as recruiting volunteers). Parents can drop off their little ones (as long as they are potty trained) for 2 hours of gymnastics fun, as well as pizza and crafts! We are doing a suggested donation of $10 per child.
When: Friday night, August 16, 6:00-8:00 pm
Where: Beamer's Gym
133 Tannehill Dr.
Abilene, TX 79602
Who: Kids ages 2.5 - 12 years (little ones must be potty trained)
Cost: Suggested donation of $10/child
You can pay online at our adoption fundraiser website or cash when you arrive.
We are so excited to see you Friday night, but be sure to sign up because space is limited.
Thanks so much!!!
When: Friday night, August 16, 6:00-8:00 pm
Where: Beamer's Gym
133 Tannehill Dr.
Abilene, TX 79602
Who: Kids ages 2.5 - 12 years (little ones must be potty trained)
Cost: Suggested donation of $10/child
You can pay online at our adoption fundraiser website or cash when you arrive.
We are so excited to see you Friday night, but be sure to sign up because space is limited.
Thanks so much!!!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Get your Adoption Shirts Now!
Our adoption t-shirts are designed and ready to sell! As we were trying to think about what we would like our t-shirt to look like I thought about other adoption shirts I had seen. Many shirts for international adoptions had an outline of the country where the baby was born. Since our adoption is domestic, I started thinking about how could we design it with the shape of our country or since we are from Texas, our state. This made me think of the popular shirts that have the state outline with the simple word "home." And our design was born...
The front of the shirt says:
I helped a child come home.
The back says:
Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me.
-Jesus (Matt.18:5)
Choose life ... support adoption.
www.christianhomes.com
Your color choices are navy, maroon, and gray (and we are thinking of adding a purple option). If you have a color request, please let us know! We can also order youth sizes. If you need youth sizes, just add it to the comment section.
Thank y'all so much for supporting our adoption and more importantly, impacting the life of a child!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Adoption Application
For months we have been working on all of the details involved in our adoption process. As I was working on some of the paperwork today, I thought it might be helpful to give you a glimpse into this process. I found a checklist that I thought might be helpful in helping y'all to understand all that this process entails.
My goal for the summer is to get all of the paperwork complete and we are getting very close. We have most of the forms complete, now we are working on steps #2-21.
This may be more information than you want, but for those of you that are into details you may be interested. So without further ado, here is a list of all the forms and items we must complete:
My goal for the summer is to get all of the paperwork complete and we are getting very close. We have most of the forms complete, now we are working on steps #2-21.
This may be more information than you want, but for those of you that are into details you may be interested. So without further ado, here is a list of all the forms and items we must complete:
1. All forms received with
orientation materials which require completion or signatures:
- AF-205 (his&hers) Personal Spiritual History & Plan for Spiritual Development for You and Your Children
- AF-034 – Working Agreement Between Christian Homes and Prospective Adoptive Parents
- AF-008 – Application to Adopt a Child
- AF-012 - Family Background Form
- AF-153 – Financial Information
- AF-015 (his&hers) Affidavit of Affirmations
- AF-010 – Birth family background Checklist
- AF-009(i) – Infant Physical Challenge Checklist
- AF-013-1 (his&hers) Statement of Good Health
- AF0-13-2 (his&hers) Health History of Applicant
- AF-058 – Adoptive Parent Consent to Use Photographs
- AF-119 – American Indian Descent Form
- AF-100 – Authorization to Share your Study
- AF-027 – Statement regarding Firearms and Firearm Safety
- AF-016 (his&hers) 10 Page Autobiography Form and Outline
- AF-023 – Profile of Adoptive Parents
- AF-151 – Health Insurance Statement of Coverage
- AF-152 – Adoptive Parents' Acknowledgement of Discipline Policies
- AF-500 - Interstate Compact Agreement
- AF-204 - Discretionary Drug Testing Policy
- AF-142 - FAST Fingerprint Applicant Services of Texas Application
- AF-116 - Adoption Fees Policy and Explanation TX and OK Residents
- AF-160 - Statement of Legal Risk
- AF-150 - Internet Profile Information
- AF-214 - Personal Outreach
2. Photograph of applicant/s
and any children in the home.
3. Photographs of your home,
surrounding grounds, outbuildings, etc.
4. Photograph/s of your pets.
5. Copy of current vaccination
record for all pets for which vaccinations are necessary.
6. Sketch of your home’s floor
plan, noting dimensions and purpose of each room (See example floor plan
attached with proper dimensions and room purpose noted.). Also please note fire
escape route/s on the floor plan.
7. Copy of home ownership, if
applicable, i.e., Deed of Trust, Home Owner's Title Policy, etc. Statement from
landlord, if renting, to verify rent.
8. Copy of driver’s license for
each applicant if not returned with preliminary application. Copy of driver’s
license for any other household member, or Social Security card if individual
has no driver’s license.
9. Medical exams within the
past six months for the adoptive applicants and any children or other persons
in the home. (Items AF013-1 and AF014a listed in item 1 above)
10. Statement and proof of
income. (Please supply a copy of the past year’s tax return.)
11. Copy of marriage license.
12. Certified copy of divorce
decree, if applicable.
13. Certified copy of death
certificate of spouse, if applicable.
14. Copy of birth certificate
of each applicant and each child in applicants' home.
15. Copy of savings passbook or
statement, certificates of deposit, money market accounts, retirement accounts,
IRA’s, etc.Page 2
16.
Proof of life and health insurance coverage (attach a copy of the face sheet of
each life insurance policy showing the amount of the insurance and copy of
health insurance policy or a copy of health insurance card showing date of
eligibility).
17. Infant Parent Training
Class verification (at least 6 hours). (Note: This is not a requirement
for those who are parenting children currently.)
18. Infant, Child, and Adult
CPR Certification.
19. First Aid Certification,
with rescue breathing and choking.
20. Birth Mother Letter
21. Photo Album
Even though this may seem really overwhelming, I have to say that we have really been blessed by this process. It is so encouraging to see all the people interested in helping us to achieve this goal.
And for all that may be interested... we have finished designing our adoption t-shirts and just got the proof back from the t-shirt company. We will be posting all the details soon! They turned out really cute!
Even though this may seem really overwhelming, I have to say that we have really been blessed by this process. It is so encouraging to see all the people interested in helping us to achieve this goal.
And for all that may be interested... we have finished designing our adoption t-shirts and just got the proof back from the t-shirt company. We will be posting all the details soon! They turned out really cute!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
What's the Next Step?
Many have asked, "What's the next step?" At this point we have not heard from the birth mom we met with in June so we are operating under the assumption that she has chosen a different family, which is completely fine. We continue to pray for her daily and whichever family the Lord has for that precious baby girl, knowing that our babe has already been hand-picked as well.
So what's next... well, at this point we are focusing our efforts on fundraising. As soon as we have raised the amount for the Home Study we will submit our paperwork and get that ball rolling. About a month ago we had a fantastic garage sale and we were so blessed when a couple we met at our adoption orientation showed up with a check... wow, talk about humbling and encouraging! We raised around $850 that day and still had a garage full of items that did not sell. So we basically left it all set up in the garage and decided to have another sale this past weekend. We sold almost EVERYTHING! At the end we had about 3 oxen of stuff that we panned to donate and a man drove up and asked if he could buy all of it and haul it off for us! Sure you can! In addition, we had another sweet family show up and hand us a card, which we later found out had a $500 check in it! Wow! We are completely amazed at the Lord's faithfulness!
Our next plan is to get the t-shirts designed asap so that we may begin selling those and we are also working on our dinner fundraiser plans. We will keep you posted as soon as all of the details are worked out. Thanks so much for loving our family and enough to read this! You are each a blessing to us!
So what's next... well, at this point we are focusing our efforts on fundraising. As soon as we have raised the amount for the Home Study we will submit our paperwork and get that ball rolling. About a month ago we had a fantastic garage sale and we were so blessed when a couple we met at our adoption orientation showed up with a check... wow, talk about humbling and encouraging! We raised around $850 that day and still had a garage full of items that did not sell. So we basically left it all set up in the garage and decided to have another sale this past weekend. We sold almost EVERYTHING! At the end we had about 3 oxen of stuff that we panned to donate and a man drove up and asked if he could buy all of it and haul it off for us! Sure you can! In addition, we had another sweet family show up and hand us a card, which we later found out had a $500 check in it! Wow! We are completely amazed at the Lord's faithfulness!
Our next plan is to get the t-shirts designed asap so that we may begin selling those and we are also working on our dinner fundraiser plans. We will keep you posted as soon as all of the details are worked out. Thanks so much for loving our family and enough to read this! You are each a blessing to us!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Why Does Adoption Cost So Much?
One of the questions we get asked all the time is, "Why does adoption cost so much?!?" Many people have even asked us why we chose our agency instead of adopting through the State or even a cheaper agency. These are tough questions, but we want to answer them in hopes that people can understand that this was not just a decision we came to overnight. This was a decision that we put much research and prayer into making and I hope that this post may be helpful for understanding our journey and adoption as a whole.
Why We Chose Domestic Adoption:
We have a heart for both domestic and international adoption and plan to adopt internationally at some point; however, as we began the overwhelming task of researching adoption we found that domestic adoption offers clear guidelines and parameters (as much as possible) and we were able to find an amazing agency within miles of our home. We decided that for our first child we would walk through domestic adoption of an infant, and then see where God leads us in the future in regards to choosing a country or age for future international or domestic adoptions.
How and Why We Chose Christian Homes and Family Services for our Agency:
Back in the fall of 2011, we received an invitation in the mail to attend an event benefiting Christian Homes and Family Services. David L. Cook, the author of the book Seven Days in Utopia was scheduled to be the keynote speaker. We had recently seen the movie based on the book and really enjoyed it, so we were excited about the possibility of hearing the author speak. In addition, God had begun tugging on our heart about adoption, so we were also naturally interested in the event. God used the event to speak to us in many ways and as a vehicle for nudging us to begin our adoption journey.
It was at this point we began to research the MANY different avenues for adoption. This process can be extremely overwhelming, but if you are considering this process I would encourage to just begin searching the Internet and reading all that you can. In addition, talk to people you know and spend lots of time in prayer over this decision.
We had already heard great things about the agency and were very impressed from the event we attended, but we didn't just stop there. We spent hours and hours reading all that we could about all the different ways to adopt. In the end, we chose Christian Homes.
We believe the history of the Agency speaks for itself. I have included the history below (from their website - I have bolded some points that were important to us). In addition, one of the things we loved about the agency was their incredible ministry to the birth mothers. Yes, we could have chosen to go through the state (which is very needed form of adoption) but for us the birth mother is paramount and we believe shining Christ to her through this agency is another way we can indirectly impact her.
At our orientation, they were very upfront with us in saying that they are not the cheapest agency out there but they are also not the most expensive (they right in the middle). They helped us to understand the costs involved and why they believed these costs were necessary and important to both the birth mother, us, and the baby. To us excellence in ministry is very important and we believe Christian Homes and Family Services does that well. Their history is listed below and then I have included the approximate cost of the adoption below that.
For decades Christian Homes & Family Services has been known as two agencies: Christian Homes of Abilene, a ministry originally conceived by the Highland Church of Christ in 1962 to provide foster care for young needy children; and Christian Services of East Texas, a ministry given life in 1975 by the Glenwood Church of Christ in Tyler also to provide foster care for children rescued from neglect and abuse.
Christian Homes Fee Schedule:
Approximate Total Costs - $25,895 - $40, 895
Hopefully this gives you a better idea of why adoption costs so much and helps you have a little insight into this huge process. We believe it is important to be transparent with people, as much as possible, about the process of adoption because that helps you to better understand how you can love and support us through this journey, but hopefully it will also give you a heart for caring for the orphans in some way as well.
We are all called to care for the orphans, but we are not all called to adopt. You might consider helping to care for the orphans by supporting our family through prayer, donating your time or services, or donating financial resources to help provide a home for a child.
Why We Chose Domestic Adoption:
We have a heart for both domestic and international adoption and plan to adopt internationally at some point; however, as we began the overwhelming task of researching adoption we found that domestic adoption offers clear guidelines and parameters (as much as possible) and we were able to find an amazing agency within miles of our home. We decided that for our first child we would walk through domestic adoption of an infant, and then see where God leads us in the future in regards to choosing a country or age for future international or domestic adoptions.
How and Why We Chose Christian Homes and Family Services for our Agency:
Back in the fall of 2011, we received an invitation in the mail to attend an event benefiting Christian Homes and Family Services. David L. Cook, the author of the book Seven Days in Utopia was scheduled to be the keynote speaker. We had recently seen the movie based on the book and really enjoyed it, so we were excited about the possibility of hearing the author speak. In addition, God had begun tugging on our heart about adoption, so we were also naturally interested in the event. God used the event to speak to us in many ways and as a vehicle for nudging us to begin our adoption journey.
It was at this point we began to research the MANY different avenues for adoption. This process can be extremely overwhelming, but if you are considering this process I would encourage to just begin searching the Internet and reading all that you can. In addition, talk to people you know and spend lots of time in prayer over this decision.
We had already heard great things about the agency and were very impressed from the event we attended, but we didn't just stop there. We spent hours and hours reading all that we could about all the different ways to adopt. In the end, we chose Christian Homes.
We believe the history of the Agency speaks for itself. I have included the history below (from their website - I have bolded some points that were important to us). In addition, one of the things we loved about the agency was their incredible ministry to the birth mothers. Yes, we could have chosen to go through the state (which is very needed form of adoption) but for us the birth mother is paramount and we believe shining Christ to her through this agency is another way we can indirectly impact her.
At our orientation, they were very upfront with us in saying that they are not the cheapest agency out there but they are also not the most expensive (they right in the middle). They helped us to understand the costs involved and why they believed these costs were necessary and important to both the birth mother, us, and the baby. To us excellence in ministry is very important and we believe Christian Homes and Family Services does that well. Their history is listed below and then I have included the approximate cost of the adoption below that.
Our History
For decades Christian Homes & Family Services has been known as two agencies: Christian Homes of Abilene, a ministry originally conceived by the Highland Church of Christ in 1962 to provide foster care for young needy children; and Christian Services of East Texas, a ministry given life in 1975 by the Glenwood Church of Christ in Tyler also to provide foster care for children rescued from neglect and abuse.
In 1999, the two independent agencies, both recognized as 501(c) 3 organizations by the Internal Revenue Service, merged and in 2006, the agency began operating under the same assumed name, Christian Homes & Family Services.
Almost as soon as Christian Homes began operating, it discovered and began responding to a desperate need for maternity care for young women with unplanned pregnancies. For more than 50 years, Christian Homes has provided residential and community-based care for young women with unplanned pregnancies. Most often, the care culminates in the agency finding loving parents to adopt their precious babies.
When a young woman with an unplanned pregnancy reaches out to Christian Homes for maternity care, our goal is that through the ministry, her life, as well as the life of her child, will be transformed. We may arrange for her housing, either in our comfortable apartments in Abilene or in her hometown, and we may also provide her food, clothing, medical care, legal services, moral support, counseling, and if needed, foster care for her newborn.
Our Abilene foster parents stand in the gap for birth mothers and adoptive parents. Foster parents love and care for newborn babies who must leave the hospital before all the legal hurdles have been jumped and they are cleared for adoption by their new and forever family. Infant foster care is provided according to the same strict standards as is required by the State for all foster care provided for minor children.
For young children who have been removed by the State from the home they likely shared with biological parents or relatives but where they were abused or neglected, our goal is that a Christian Homes’ foster family will be the last foster home they ever need. Our ministry is to identify, train, and prepare loving, Christian couples to welcome young foster children into their home and to ultimately make them a forever member of their family through adoption.
Christian Homes & Family Services is governed by a 23-member Board of Trustees who for more than three decades has operated independently of its founding church congregations. The agency is served by a 21-member team of dedicated employees; five of whom have worked for the agency more than 25 years. All trustees and employees are faithful and committed Christians. The agency is licensed by the State of Texas to provide maternity care and foster care, and in both Texas and Oklahoma to provide adoption services.
Approximately 40% of the agency’s $2 million budget is funded by adoption fees. For the balance, the agency relies on the generosity of individuals, churches, sympathetic businesses, foundations, and sound investing of the dollars donated to the agency’s endowment fund.
Since 1962 Christian Homes & Family Services has placed more than 1850 precious babies and children into loving adoptive homes, provided maternity care for more than 2500 women, and cared for more than 1570 foster children.
- Pre-application - $95
- Orientation - $250
- Application - $750
- Home Study - $1500
- Social Services - $4,800
- Marketing - $6,000
- Match/Placement - $10,000 - $25,000 (sliding scale based on income of adoptive family)
- Parental Termination - $1,500
- Consummation - varies
Approximate Total Costs - $25,895 - $40, 895
Hopefully this gives you a better idea of why adoption costs so much and helps you have a little insight into this huge process. We believe it is important to be transparent with people, as much as possible, about the process of adoption because that helps you to better understand how you can love and support us through this journey, but hopefully it will also give you a heart for caring for the orphans in some way as well.
We are all called to care for the orphans, but we are not all called to adopt. You might consider helping to care for the orphans by supporting our family through prayer, donating your time or services, or donating financial resources to help provide a home for a child.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Crazy Roller Coaster Ride
A few weeks ago we experienced our craziest day yet walking through the adoption process... we met with a birth mother.
We haven't shared this publicly until now because ultimately it is up to her (really the Lord) to choose us and at this point she has not chosen us.
But WOW, this is one crazy roller coaster ride so far. I describe it as a roller coaster ride because I am not sure people can truly understand the range of emotions experienced unless you have also walked through this process.
It is similar to thinking you might be pregnant, but don't know for sure... except this baby might come much sooner than 9 months from now (this particular birth mom is due in October).
It was similar to a job interview, except it was the most important job interview we will ever attend because it is interviewing for parenthood (except most people never have to "interview" to become a parent).
At this point, I cannot imagine how my heart will hold up if we have to do this again and again.
Don't get me wrong, we are doing well... this is such an exciting journey. We know for a FACT that the Lord is in complete control and he has hand picked each of our children way before we ever had the ability to even consider adoption. But I just have to be real and say this is an unbelievably hard journey, which requires us to walk in complete reliance on the Lord - which is the sweetest place to be.
So now for the details (which is why you are here in the first place, right?) ...
Towards the end of May we received a message from some friends indicating that they had learned of a birth mom who is looking for a good family and they wondered if we were interested in meeting with her. We agreed to meet with her to see if this was a possibility.
On a Saturday a few weeks ago, we drove to the Metroplex, where she lives, to meet with this sweet girl. It was a beautiful afternoon, so we sat outside on the patio underneath a umbrella and waited for her to arrive. I can't even begin to put words to the emotions we felt as we sat there waiting for her to arrive. But soon they arrived (she and her mom) and the conversation flowed fairly easily.
Kate (not her real name) is 18 and her mom is only 3 years older than me and younger than DJ. Her mom (I'll call her Missy) had Kate at 18 and she was really encouraging Kate to give the baby up for adoption because she wants her granddaughter to be able to have the life she was not able to provide for Kate. Kate was also very much on board with the plan of adoption, although we did sense how difficult this decision is for her.
Kate and Missy asked us some very difficult questions and at times it seemed that they were looking for very specific answers in return. They were so warm and friendly in response to our answers, but we really don't know exactly how our answers matched up with what they are looking for.
Kate was very interested in Open Adoption (which is what we are choosing to do) and wanted to know how "open" we are to open adoption. We shared how important she is to us as the birth mom and that our baby would know from the beginning that he/she is adopted. DJ did a great job of explaining to her that our adoption counselor with Christian Homes would be able to help us set up the expectations and parameters for our open adoption and that this would be something that we would all come to a written agreement about. (Side note: Open adoption has become the most common form of adoption today and I will write another post later about how this works and why it is the method we have chosen for our family.)
They asked us if the baby would go to private school or if we would choose to homeschool. I shared with them my heart for public school and some simple reasons why we had chosen that path for our family. We told them that our children would either attend the school where I teach or the great school in our neighborhood.
They also asked if I would be staying home with the baby or what our plans were for childcare if I continued to work.
We shared with them many, many details about our life... our jobs, family, church, home etc.
Faith was very important to them and we were able to share the up most importance that Christ holds in our lives. They also asked specific questions about our church and denomination.
Before we left DJ asked if could pray for us. We prayed and then told Kate that we would continue to pray for her regardless of whether or not she chose us for her baby. We also told her that the ball is in her court. We are very open to meeting with her again or talking on the phone if she has more questions, but we are not going to contact her again unless she chooses to make contact. We gave her the contact information for our adoption agency, in case she was interested.
We walked away feeling hopeful, but also guarded. From the beginning we were so excited about the opportunity to meet her, but we also tried to guard our hearts knowing that she may not choose us. At this point, it has been 3 weeks and we have not heard from her. We are OK with that because we know God is sovereign, but we would definitely ask you to pray for us as walk this exciting but difficult journey. We wouldn't have it any other way and we are so excited for the testimony God is unfolding for our precious babes even before they are ever born.
We haven't shared this publicly until now because ultimately it is up to her (really the Lord) to choose us and at this point she has not chosen us.
But WOW, this is one crazy roller coaster ride so far. I describe it as a roller coaster ride because I am not sure people can truly understand the range of emotions experienced unless you have also walked through this process.
It is similar to thinking you might be pregnant, but don't know for sure... except this baby might come much sooner than 9 months from now (this particular birth mom is due in October).
It was similar to a job interview, except it was the most important job interview we will ever attend because it is interviewing for parenthood (except most people never have to "interview" to become a parent).
At this point, I cannot imagine how my heart will hold up if we have to do this again and again.
Don't get me wrong, we are doing well... this is such an exciting journey. We know for a FACT that the Lord is in complete control and he has hand picked each of our children way before we ever had the ability to even consider adoption. But I just have to be real and say this is an unbelievably hard journey, which requires us to walk in complete reliance on the Lord - which is the sweetest place to be.
So now for the details (which is why you are here in the first place, right?) ...
Towards the end of May we received a message from some friends indicating that they had learned of a birth mom who is looking for a good family and they wondered if we were interested in meeting with her. We agreed to meet with her to see if this was a possibility.
On a Saturday a few weeks ago, we drove to the Metroplex, where she lives, to meet with this sweet girl. It was a beautiful afternoon, so we sat outside on the patio underneath a umbrella and waited for her to arrive. I can't even begin to put words to the emotions we felt as we sat there waiting for her to arrive. But soon they arrived (she and her mom) and the conversation flowed fairly easily.
Kate (not her real name) is 18 and her mom is only 3 years older than me and younger than DJ. Her mom (I'll call her Missy) had Kate at 18 and she was really encouraging Kate to give the baby up for adoption because she wants her granddaughter to be able to have the life she was not able to provide for Kate. Kate was also very much on board with the plan of adoption, although we did sense how difficult this decision is for her.
Kate and Missy asked us some very difficult questions and at times it seemed that they were looking for very specific answers in return. They were so warm and friendly in response to our answers, but we really don't know exactly how our answers matched up with what they are looking for.
Kate was very interested in Open Adoption (which is what we are choosing to do) and wanted to know how "open" we are to open adoption. We shared how important she is to us as the birth mom and that our baby would know from the beginning that he/she is adopted. DJ did a great job of explaining to her that our adoption counselor with Christian Homes would be able to help us set up the expectations and parameters for our open adoption and that this would be something that we would all come to a written agreement about. (Side note: Open adoption has become the most common form of adoption today and I will write another post later about how this works and why it is the method we have chosen for our family.)
They asked us if the baby would go to private school or if we would choose to homeschool. I shared with them my heart for public school and some simple reasons why we had chosen that path for our family. We told them that our children would either attend the school where I teach or the great school in our neighborhood.
They also asked if I would be staying home with the baby or what our plans were for childcare if I continued to work.
We shared with them many, many details about our life... our jobs, family, church, home etc.
Faith was very important to them and we were able to share the up most importance that Christ holds in our lives. They also asked specific questions about our church and denomination.
Before we left DJ asked if could pray for us. We prayed and then told Kate that we would continue to pray for her regardless of whether or not she chose us for her baby. We also told her that the ball is in her court. We are very open to meeting with her again or talking on the phone if she has more questions, but we are not going to contact her again unless she chooses to make contact. We gave her the contact information for our adoption agency, in case she was interested.
We walked away feeling hopeful, but also guarded. From the beginning we were so excited about the opportunity to meet her, but we also tried to guard our hearts knowing that she may not choose us. At this point, it has been 3 weeks and we have not heard from her. We are OK with that because we know God is sovereign, but we would definitely ask you to pray for us as walk this exciting but difficult journey. We wouldn't have it any other way and we are so excited for the testimony God is unfolding for our precious babes even before they are ever born.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Faith in the Details
I walked into my classroom this morning to find a gift on my desk. Since it is Valentine's day I assumed that one of my students had brought it in before I arrived.
I glanced at the gift quickly, but decided to wait to open it until the giver made their arrival in a few minutes. It sat amongst other smaller gifts that I had already received this week from my little ones.
"Wow," I thought, "someone really put a lot of thought into this."
I quickly began to get ready for my day because my first graders would be arriving soon. As the kids arrived I expected someone to proudly tell me that they had brought the beautiful gift on my desk. No one did. So a few minutes later I asked them who had given it to me. They did not know.
At this point, I began to look at the gift a little more carefully. I noticed the photograph collage with the word "faith," the jar of pink tulips (my favorite), a Sonic drink, and a Snickers (also my favorite). It was all tucked neatly inside a wooden crate. I tasted the Sonic drink and realized it was cream Dr. Pepper, a new favorite that a friend I work with had introduced to me in the past year.
"Oh! This is a gift from a friend who works with me! But which friend?"
There were a couple who knew the struggles of our past year... taking the scary step of faith to begin the adoption process, pregnancy, miscarriage, pause in the process...
I am now mentally trying to decide which friend had been so thoughtful to put this together. Maybe a few of them?
You may be wondering, why I did not automatically assume this was from my husband...
It completely has his name written all over it, but he was out of town on a basketball trip for work and the few days before he left were filled with busyness, so I knew he did not have time to orchestrate this gift.
But then I saw it... tied neatly in the bow around the mouth of the mason jar was a jump drive.
Oh my! I covered my mouth and gasped... the tears began to flow. Who had done this?! I'm mentally trying to think who knew that I had carefully put away our adoption jump drive after the miscarriage? I put it in a very safe place, a place so safe that we still have no recollection of the location!
I left my students with my student teacher and quickly ran (i.e which translates to quick walking feet in an elementary school) to my friends' classrooms.
"Did you do it?"
Looks of confusion...
"Do what?"
Finally I found Libby. "Did you do it?! How did you do it?"
She gives me a little grin.
"It wasn't me. It was your husband."
Now I am so confused, but also thinking, "How ridiculous could I be?! Of course it was him... but how?!"
She says, "I put it in your room, but you need to call him. I don't want to give it away. Let him tell you the details."
At this point, I am so overwhelmed with emotion and excitement. I run to the phone and call him at his hotel in New Braunfels. I wake him up... but he is happy to explain.
He tells me he thought of the idea the day before and had called the agency to explain our story. He calls Margaret at Christian Homes and Family Services (our amazing adoption agency). He spills the whole story about why we had misplaced the jump drive. He tells how the Lord has been clearly telling us in the last few weeks that we need to step out in faith and trust Him in this. Finally he asks if it would be possible to get a new jump drive.
Margaret says, "Of course! But my assistant is out today and she is the one who loads all of the application files onto the jump drive."
DJ tells her not to worry about it today and says, he can just get it next week. No problem.
But Margaret insists that she will see what she can do.
15 minutes later, Margaret calls back and tells him that she explained the whole story to her assistant and she said, "I love the Gilillands! I want to take care of this today!"
Margaret tells him that he can come by after 2:00, so he runs across town to take care of this before he needs to leave with the team at 3:00. Next he calls Libby's husband and asks for the favor. He takes the jump drive to Ryan and then calls Libby to ask her to help him get the rest.
He explains he wants to recreate this song that we love called "Wal-Mart Flowers," but he needs a few things. Libby selflessly goes to pick out the items and texts him pictures of the items she finds to get his final decision.
He decides on the faith collage since the Lord is clearly calling us to step out in faith.
As he speaks, I am in complete awe! I am so in love with this sweet man the Lord has chosen for me, and also so excited that God is orchestrating our adoption story with each perfect detail.
I cannot wait to share these details one day with the precious one He has already chosen for us!
I glanced at the gift quickly, but decided to wait to open it until the giver made their arrival in a few minutes. It sat amongst other smaller gifts that I had already received this week from my little ones.
"Wow," I thought, "someone really put a lot of thought into this."
I quickly began to get ready for my day because my first graders would be arriving soon. As the kids arrived I expected someone to proudly tell me that they had brought the beautiful gift on my desk. No one did. So a few minutes later I asked them who had given it to me. They did not know.
At this point, I began to look at the gift a little more carefully. I noticed the photograph collage with the word "faith," the jar of pink tulips (my favorite), a Sonic drink, and a Snickers (also my favorite). It was all tucked neatly inside a wooden crate. I tasted the Sonic drink and realized it was cream Dr. Pepper, a new favorite that a friend I work with had introduced to me in the past year.
"Oh! This is a gift from a friend who works with me! But which friend?"
There were a couple who knew the struggles of our past year... taking the scary step of faith to begin the adoption process, pregnancy, miscarriage, pause in the process...
I am now mentally trying to decide which friend had been so thoughtful to put this together. Maybe a few of them?
You may be wondering, why I did not automatically assume this was from my husband...
It completely has his name written all over it, but he was out of town on a basketball trip for work and the few days before he left were filled with busyness, so I knew he did not have time to orchestrate this gift.
But then I saw it... tied neatly in the bow around the mouth of the mason jar was a jump drive.
Oh my! I covered my mouth and gasped... the tears began to flow. Who had done this?! I'm mentally trying to think who knew that I had carefully put away our adoption jump drive after the miscarriage? I put it in a very safe place, a place so safe that we still have no recollection of the location!
I left my students with my student teacher and quickly ran (i.e which translates to quick walking feet in an elementary school) to my friends' classrooms.
"Did you do it?"
Looks of confusion...
"Do what?"
Finally I found Libby. "Did you do it?! How did you do it?"
She gives me a little grin.
"It wasn't me. It was your husband."
Now I am so confused, but also thinking, "How ridiculous could I be?! Of course it was him... but how?!"
She says, "I put it in your room, but you need to call him. I don't want to give it away. Let him tell you the details."
At this point, I am so overwhelmed with emotion and excitement. I run to the phone and call him at his hotel in New Braunfels. I wake him up... but he is happy to explain.
He tells me he thought of the idea the day before and had called the agency to explain our story. He calls Margaret at Christian Homes and Family Services (our amazing adoption agency). He spills the whole story about why we had misplaced the jump drive. He tells how the Lord has been clearly telling us in the last few weeks that we need to step out in faith and trust Him in this. Finally he asks if it would be possible to get a new jump drive.
Margaret says, "Of course! But my assistant is out today and she is the one who loads all of the application files onto the jump drive."
DJ tells her not to worry about it today and says, he can just get it next week. No problem.
But Margaret insists that she will see what she can do.
15 minutes later, Margaret calls back and tells him that she explained the whole story to her assistant and she said, "I love the Gilillands! I want to take care of this today!"
Margaret tells him that he can come by after 2:00, so he runs across town to take care of this before he needs to leave with the team at 3:00. Next he calls Libby's husband and asks for the favor. He takes the jump drive to Ryan and then calls Libby to ask her to help him get the rest.
He explains he wants to recreate this song that we love called "Wal-Mart Flowers," but he needs a few things. Libby selflessly goes to pick out the items and texts him pictures of the items she finds to get his final decision.
He decides on the faith collage since the Lord is clearly calling us to step out in faith.
As he speaks, I am in complete awe! I am so in love with this sweet man the Lord has chosen for me, and also so excited that God is orchestrating our adoption story with each perfect detail.
I cannot wait to share these details one day with the precious one He has already chosen for us!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Stepping out in Faith
Wow... it has been a full year since I have been able to blog.
It has been a challenging year. After our second miscarriage, I struggled for at least a few months to feel like myself again. I think my husband was really worried. I didn't know how much I struggled until now when I can look back upon the whole thing.
If I am honest, I haven't blogged this past year because I haven't known how to answer the questions about the pause in our adoption process. I kept thinking we would get back to it soon. We wanted to get back to it. I think we both believed we would get back in the grove much sooner than this, but we both felt so much fear in the process.
Most of fear came from the fact that we had no idea how to pay the enormous expenses of adoption. We know that most people fundraise to at least help pay for their adoption, and that has always been our plan... but somehow we have still held onto this almost unspeakable fear of asking people to help.
When I step outside of myself, it sounds silly even to me. I am person who naturally trusts that God provides (this is not a compliment to me at all, but just part of my natural, God-given personality). However, somehow stepping out in faith in this has felt really scary and awkward.
Where do we begin? We still aren't completely sure...
I think we have some good ideas, but we still need to nail everything down.
But I can say that the Lord is doing a huge work in our hearts and it is really incredible to know He is working... and also a lot of fun. I am excited about the anticipation of it all. I can't wait to see how His plan unfolds.
At this point, there are still a lot of unknowns but I just wanted to share a little bit of how you can pray for us right now. We are planning to begin the fundraising process in the near future. Right now we are researching and making some decisions about where to begin.
There are so MANY options! Pray that God would guide us through these scary and humbling decisions. Pray that we would be willing to step out in faith wherever He leads.
There are so many reasons to wait... but we desire to be obedient. So please pray that we would not wait any longer than He wants us to and that fear would not be an issue.
My hope is that we will have some fundraising news soon.
We know that God doesn't call everyone to adopt but he does call us all to care for the orphans. One way you can do this is by praying for us as we begin this process (again).
This morning my Bible study just happened to be over this verse (don't believe for one second that I thought this was a coincidence):
Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27
He is doing BIG things and I can't wait to share more of it with you later.
It has been a challenging year. After our second miscarriage, I struggled for at least a few months to feel like myself again. I think my husband was really worried. I didn't know how much I struggled until now when I can look back upon the whole thing.
If I am honest, I haven't blogged this past year because I haven't known how to answer the questions about the pause in our adoption process. I kept thinking we would get back to it soon. We wanted to get back to it. I think we both believed we would get back in the grove much sooner than this, but we both felt so much fear in the process.
Most of fear came from the fact that we had no idea how to pay the enormous expenses of adoption. We know that most people fundraise to at least help pay for their adoption, and that has always been our plan... but somehow we have still held onto this almost unspeakable fear of asking people to help.
When I step outside of myself, it sounds silly even to me. I am person who naturally trusts that God provides (this is not a compliment to me at all, but just part of my natural, God-given personality). However, somehow stepping out in faith in this has felt really scary and awkward.
Where do we begin? We still aren't completely sure...
I think we have some good ideas, but we still need to nail everything down.
But I can say that the Lord is doing a huge work in our hearts and it is really incredible to know He is working... and also a lot of fun. I am excited about the anticipation of it all. I can't wait to see how His plan unfolds.
At this point, there are still a lot of unknowns but I just wanted to share a little bit of how you can pray for us right now. We are planning to begin the fundraising process in the near future. Right now we are researching and making some decisions about where to begin.
There are so MANY options! Pray that God would guide us through these scary and humbling decisions. Pray that we would be willing to step out in faith wherever He leads.
There are so many reasons to wait... but we desire to be obedient. So please pray that we would not wait any longer than He wants us to and that fear would not be an issue.
My hope is that we will have some fundraising news soon.
We know that God doesn't call everyone to adopt but he does call us all to care for the orphans. One way you can do this is by praying for us as we begin this process (again).
This morning my Bible study just happened to be over this verse (don't believe for one second that I thought this was a coincidence):
Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27
He is doing BIG things and I can't wait to share more of it with you later.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Update: Some Highs and Lows
The past month has held some of our highest highs and lowest lows; Although, I can say that the Lord is faithful through the good and the bad.
As many of you know, we started the adoption process in January. I can't even describe the excitment we felt. Then a few days later we found out that we were pregnant. I was amazed. My blood work came back with glowing reports from our doctor, which was really exciting since I had a miscarriage about 2 years ago. I felt beyond blessed.
One month ago, we found out about this precious little life growing inside me. Later that same week we began to have complications with the pregnancy. My super-great hormone levels dropped about 20 points. That may not sound like a big deal, but it is. Our doctor explained that when your levels decline -even a little- it means the baby is not thriving. However, my doctor was not ready to give up or believe the pregnancy was ending, so he wanted to check my levels again on Monday. That was one of the longest, most desperate weekends of my life. Our levels should have been doubling, not declining. But we were hopeful, we began to pray fervently for a miracle. At first I felt pretty hopeless, but then God began to restore my hope. By Monday I believed that our baby would live. I began to let myself think again about how our life would change sometime in September. Monday I received some amazing news. My levels had almost tripled! It was a miracle! My doctor could attribute it to nothing less. We knew the power of prayer had made the difference.
On Wednesday, my doctor had me come back in to check my levels again. This time my levels did not double. They went from about 520 to 720. My doctor said it wasn't enough. He said we were having a miscarriage. I was not ready to hear this. My doctor was ready to do a D&C because he was a concerned that my pregnancy was ectopic, which could obviously be dangerous for me. I was not ready to do the D&C because my levels were still rising a little However, my comfort lied in the fact that my doctor is also a believer, so I knew that he would save my baby at all costs. We soon learned that just wasn't possible.
The following day we arrived at his office to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed that there was no sac growing in my uterus. It was still a little to early to actually see the baby, but my doctor said we would be able to see the sac if the baby were developing properly. There was no sac. We discussed our options and risks. We decided to do one more blood test the following morning and if my levels had stopped rising, then I would have the D&C on Friday. We went home Thursday night and prayed that our numbers would be conclusive in the morning.
Later that night, we went out to eat and I began to have cramps. As we arrived home my pain became much worse, so DJ called the dr. He sent us to the ER (Still concerned with the possibility of a tubal pregnancy).
That night my doctor decided it would be best if I checked into the hospital. They did another ultrasound revealing again that the baby was not growing properly. In the morning, we found out that my pregnancy hormone levels had stopped rising. These were the conclusive results we needed to help us make our decision. Later that day, I underwent anesthesia and had the D&C. The last time we went through this, I cane out of anesthesia easily and went home only a few hours after the surgery; however this time, when I awoke I had some trouble coming out of the anesthesia. They required me to hold down some food before I would be allowed to go home and that just wasn't happening. Finally at 9 pm I was able to finish my meal, prove that I could walk without dizziness, and we were allowed to go home.
I spent the next few days in bed recovering both emotionally and physically, although the emotional healing will take much longer. Finally on Tuesday, I knew that I needed to make my way back to work and attempt a "normal" day. I do did not want to get out of bed that day, but I forced myself to head to school because I knew I needed it. I was so right. That day when I got home, my sweet husband had relief on his face. He said that I had my coloring back and also my smile. There is something about 22 eight year olds that can remind me that God still has a purpose for my life.
At this moment, we are just taking it day by day. We know that we will continue the adoption process (probably soon) but at this moment we just aren't ready to work on the paperwork. I know that God is mending our hearts and we are just trusting Him through this. I knew that I needed to post this because so many people are asking about how the process is going and I never really know how to respond. A few times I have just said that we haven't finished the paperwork yet, and other times I share our story, but that can be a little awkward for the person who doesn't know what to say. People often look like a deer in the headlights when I tell them what happened. I'm not intending to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but I also want to be real and transparent about what the Lord is doing in our lives. When people ask how I'm doing I really don't know what to say. Somedays I say "good" and other days I say "ok." But if I'm honest, I would say this is really hard and we are grieving; although that is not to say that we aren't ok. We are completely blessed and we know that God has big plans for our lives. Thanks for praying for us as we grieve, rejoice, and heal. He will bring us through. I will keep you posted when we get back to truckloads of adoption paperwork.
Blessings,
Andrea
Monday, January 16, 2012
Our Exciting New Adventure!
Ephesians 1:3-6
We have begun an exciting journey and I can't wait to share it with you! This weekend we attended our adoption orientation with Christian Homes. I cannot even describe what an incredible experience this was. The weekend was spent learning all the details of adoption (and wow! There are a lot of details!). We went home after day number 1 a little overwhelmed by the details and especially the cost, but also so excited.
I was fascinated to learn about a newer trend in open adoption. They told us that many people may offer us many opinions about why they don't think open adoption is good idea. However, we learned how open adoption is actually the best possible scenario. Through open adoption the birth mother actually chooses us. She chooses us because she loves her baby so much that she wants to give him what she knows she cannot and because she chose us she would never consider trying to steal her baby back (as some might think would be a risk of open adoption). We learned that open adoption is now the most "normal" and common practice within adoption.
On day 2 we were able to participate in a question and answer time with adoptees, birth moms, and adoptive parents. The time spent with the adoptive parents gave us such a peace and allowed us to walk away knowing the Lord would provide. The couples were so open and honest and shared their fears during the whole process. This spoke so much to our hearts because we shared so many of the same fears. The best part was as one couple shared about the financial aspect of adoption. They told us how they wondered how they could ever adopt after they learned of the huge costs involved (which is one of our huge fears). But then they shared how their friends and family were more than excited to support them through this process. They said that in the end, they had to say, "we have enough, we don't need any more." How incredible is that?! I shared this with my father and I think he was overwhelmed by the whole cost. I'm not sure that he is confident that fundraising portion will work out well, but I have such a peace about it and I cannot wait to share with him about the Lord's faithfulness. I am confident that he will provide.
I felt so much peace when they shared how it's in our human nature to think we must "pay" for our baby by ourselves, but then he told us how allowing others to walk along side of us through this process is a blessing to them. We heard time and time again how we need to allow others to give and how this is what they want to do. This calmed my heart so much.
We are now working on our 100 page application on the iadopt jump drive. We each have to write our own autobiographies and then together we will create our birth mother letter, and finally our photo album for the birthmothers to use as they make their choices. Tomorrow is my first class as a college instructor and I have a few things to finish for my first class, but all I want to do is work on our application! We are so excited! The most exciting part was when they told us that the average family is able to meet their baby in LESS THAN A YEAR!!! That is wild! This time next year life could be very different! We will keep you updated on the process. Thanks for joining us in prayer as we walk this exciting journey!
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